How to set boundaries that empowers, liberate and create a sense of fulfillment in yourself as well as in your close relationships
Boundaries in relationship are created to build trust, clarify expectations,deciding the roles and responsibilities,open the communication channel,have meaningful dialogues, building intimacy, how to resolve conflict,how to support,when to give space etc. etc.
So how do we go about setting healthy clear boundaries
32 steps of STEP 1
- 1.Know yourself - the better you know yourself the better you are
- 2.Identify what are your needs, wants, expectations, beliefs, emotions, feelings, weaknesses, strengths, your perceptions and ideas
- 3.Identify which people uplifts you and who make you feel miserable
- 4.Identify the relationship which are important to you
- 5.Identify the relationships – which you should get rid of immediately
- 6.Identify those relationships – which you should avoid – and whom you can ignore and whom you can walk away from
- 7.Identify-who among those you must live-with and work-with
- 8.Identify those relationships – where you must learn to deal with more effectively
- 9.Create a regime to start loving yourself
- 10.Take complete responsibility for yourself, your actions and your choices
- 11.Identify who, where and when violates your boundaries
- 12.Identify what type of feelings you want [like feeling worthy, feeling good about yourself]
- 13.Identify the boundaries you need to create to get these [like saying no to unethical demands]
- 14.Learn to practice assertiveness
- 15.Learn to practice how to handle difficult people
- 16.Please understand that you are not responsible for how others feel or react - when you set your boundaries
- 17.Develop a healthy respect for yourself
- 18.Learn to recognize the early warning signs early at the beginning of any new relationship- so as to put stop to unhealthy behaviors of others
- 19.When we get ourselves more emotionally attached with anyone – we get hurt more and walking away becomes that more difficult
- 20.It is not your responsibility to fix or change anyone – so stop fixing or changing others
- 21.Put a stop to people who want to fix or change you
- 22.Learn to identify, understand and ignore - the tantrums, drama,lies and manipulation of others
- 23.Put a stop to it immediately without giving them opportunity to become more powerful in this relationship with you
- 24.Understand that as much as you want others to be happy - you cannot be responsible for others - happiness or feelings - as long as you are not the one who is behaving like a predator
- 25.You have to learn the NLP technique of emotionally disassociating – from toxic behaviors and people – when you recognize it as a draining relationship
- 26.Give yourself permission to express your negative feelings like anger, sadness, guilt or shame in a constructive way
- 27.Learn to vent and channelize your negative feelings and emotions in a healthy manner
- 28.Stop acting like sponge to absorb others negativities to make yourself miserable
- 29.Allow other people to have their own emotional experiences – don't take these personally
- 30.Learn to recognize unhealthy boundaries – stop being an ostrich
- 31.Learn to be authentic and yourself
- 32.Use your vulnerabilities to grow yourself without letting anyone take advantage of your weaknesses
Step 2 - Setting your internal boundaries for making better relationship with yourself
- 1.Create self-discipline
- 2.Learn to delay self-gratification
- 3.Learn to handle your emotions more effectively by learning to manage your negative feelings, emotions and thoughts
- 4.Learn to respond - instead reacting impulsively
- 5.Learn to take actions on the important areas immediately
- 6.Learn to identify and get rid of toxic people from your life
- 7.Make your self-care a priority
- 8.How you let go of making others feel bad about yourself
- 9.How you empower yourself
- 10.How you stop being defensive at other's pressure
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