How Marriages Disintegrates

76 ways on How the marriages dis-integrate – MANY POINTS HERE too are applicable in other types of relationship + 30 Tips on Creating a Romantic Marital Relationship

In many marital relationships – big things seldom are the cause of break-ups – rather the small, unnoticed things that make their way in and start destroying – what could have been a wonderful relationship.

1. Not recognizing that – this relationship needs to be given priority
2. Getting pulled down by the demands of your family members – which reaches unhealthy levels
3. Lack of Communication and expressing themselves
4. Lack of Personal-space
5. Lack focused-being-together-time
6. Stress because of financial issues, professional turbulence etc
7. Psychological and emotional baggage from other relationships
8. Not recognizing that your marriage is not about You vs. Him/Her – It is about We vs. Me
9. Being Unforgiving by holding on to our hurts for a very long time. Forgiveness is not about excusing the other person - it’s about freeing ourselves to heal and live
10. Not having healthy boundaries* or having very Loose Boundaries:
11. Holding on to other's Past mistakes
12. Dishonesty, lying, infidelity  
13. Ego because of personal insecurities – due to feeling inferior to your spouse/romantic partner
14. Trying punish her/him
15. Giving Silent Treatment to hurt other deliberately
16. Keeping MUM to avoid addressing issues openly - Expressing yourself to your partner — especially when there's a conflict — is crucial
17. Not seeking help from your partner during your personal crisis - healthy couples allow their stress to pull them together, by relying on each other, sharing it with one another, and carrying the load together.
18. Not expressing your needs
19. Not explaining your feelings
20. Not seeking to resolve the misunderstanding
21. Ignoring the danger bells – till they become SIRENs and irreparable
22. You have is nothing left to say – as you both are shutting down - There are times in a disagreement where nothing is getting accomplished, no common ground exists and you've reached the point where you're beating a dead horse. This is the point where you retreat
23. Not responding in time – when your realize your partner is breaking apart – because of your grudge
24. Using Silence to control
25. Constant nagging on minor issues
26. Using emotional blackmail tactics to gain what you want
27. Lack of Attention - Attention is an important aspect of communication in relationships. Nowadays people are hiding in their smart phones
28. Not recognizing the Body language of your partner
29. Listening - without offering solutions – ONLY being there for her[If you are a male]
30. Asking too many caring questions OR telling him what to do[if you are a woman]
31. Not recognizing your partner's anguish
32. Not approaching your partner When your partner is feeling low and down[If you are a male]
33. When your partner is feeling down - trying to squeeze it out of him through expressing lots of concerns for him [if you are a woman]
34. Reacting to their emotional triggers immediately – without seeing or focusing on the bigger picture
35. Unable to see things in right perspective – but as per your glossy perceptions
36. Choosing a wrong time – to bring some issue
37. Trying to win every argument – instead of having discussions
38. Realizing that you could be wrong
39. Not apologizing
40. Using absolute expressions – like - You always, you never
41. Assuming your partner knows about everything you expect in this relationship - without Letting him/her know
42. Not bringing out uncomfortable or uneasy and nagging issues openly
43. Not Listening to understand - but to reply
44. Not knowing the art of reading between the lines
45. You stop looking at each other for support
46. Yelling And Screaming
47. Total indifference
48. Apologizing Too Much
49. Speaking In Absolutes and using many Shoulds" And "Shouldn'ts when telling something or blaming
50. Making Assumptions
51. Not Accepting and supporting her/his Repair Attempts
52. Harboring bitterness
53. Not talking about sexual desires
54. Fear of Intimacy
55. Stop creating surprises for each-others
56. Taking him/her for granted
57. The relationship becomes more about you than we
58. Not sorting and talking over Money-Matters
59. Losing Your Independence - Skipping me-time
60. Assuming you know everything about each other
61. Staying mum about minor annoyances
62. Waiting for special occasions to express love
63. Repression and passive aggressiveness
64. Trying to read mind of the other
65. Reading and inferring their Emotions into what is not there – without verifying with him/her
66. Commanding, ordering and controlling
67. Overgeneralizing small issues into larger ones – without any base
68. Not taking care of ourselves
69. Not nurturing the relationship in an pro-active ways - people NEED to feel loved and respected, appreciated, accepted, and worthwhile. It’s not an option.
70. Belittling in public or private
71. Making others feel Guilty by playing victim
72. Not realizing the power of interdependency
73. Poor Conflict Resolution Skills
74. Hitting Below the Belt
75. Not Respecting Boundaries
76. Having Unrealistic expectations from your partner

30 ways How to overcome the aforesaid and many other hindrances in meaningful and deeper relationship - The Purpose of Communication in Relationships – is to

1. Have discussions NOT arguments
2. To bring all that is troubling you – without inhibition
3. Other to know and understand you better and vice-versa
4. Examine perceptions, feelings, ideas and thoughts AND to come to an accurate understanding each other's emotional and mental states AS WELL AS Needs
5. Unilaterally disarm by giving up your need to be right – understanding that You are not going into a battle that you have to win
6. You have a right to let your partner be aware of all of your thoughts and feelings
7. Challenging and verifying your own assumptions, perceptions about him/her, the situation etc
8. Using I statement
9. Not to attack – BUT – to listen openly without any prejudice
10. Reveal feelings that are embarrassing or humiliating -Without dismissing your irrational feelings them as being inappropriate, immature or meaningless
11. Making effort to talk about the feelings that you would much rather skip over
12. The feelings that you fear will cause you embarrassment or humiliation should you disclose them – without having the temptation to defend yourself by becoming victimized and righteous
13. This is not about how you shouldn’t be hurt or disappointed.  It is just about the simple truth that you are hurt or disappointed, and that it is causing you emotional pain
14. Reveal your personal wants - People often feel embarrassed to talk about what they want
15. Sharing your personal wants that come from deep down in you and what makes you feel the most vulnerable* - like - I want you to complement me, I want to be affectionate with you etc
16. Having a conversation* with the decency and respect with which you talk to anyone else.
17. Listening to Your Relationship Partner - Listening is not about you.
18. Developing compassion and empathy for your partner
19. Determine Reality with Your Relationship Partner
20. Using Non-verbal Communication to make your partner understand you AND that you understand them
21. The realistic Great Expectations to have [for couples from each-others]
22. Expecting Your Relationship to Improve
23. Understanding, accepting and taking appropriate action for nurturing the relationship together

• Expect to Be Loved

1. Expect to Discover Difficult Things About Each Other
2. Expect to Discover Even More Difficult Things About Yourself
3. Expect Your Relationship to Change

• Expect Sex to Get Better and Better
• Expect to Be Bored Sometimes

1. Expect to Have Doubts Sometimes
2. Expect to Face Tough Times Together
3. Expect to Be Together, Forever

READ How We Kill Our Important Relationships in https://successunlimited-mantra.com/index.php/blog/are-you-a-relationship-killer