How to prevent Fear of Missing Out, Anxiety, Insecurities & Stress to ruin your life
In our current age all of us are YOLO, which is an acronym for "You only live once".
Many of us live this life full of anxieties, insecurities, fears and stress which does not have any basis & those which can be easily eliminated or minimized by do it ourselves practices to inculcate them into our day to day habits or makes them part of our nature.
In this article we will talk about all the FOMO, Insecurities, Irrational Fears & Anxieties and how to overcome them better.
What is FOMO
FOMO is an Anxiety that an exciting or interesting event may currently be happening elsewhere, often aroused by posts seen on social media. FOMO is a pervasive apprehension that others might be having rewarding experiences from which one is absent". This social anxiety is characterized by "a desire to stay continually connected with what others are doing"
FOMO affects all of us, whether we’re single, in a relationship, or somewhere in between.
Causes of FOMO
- Our perception of everlasting happiness
- Wishful thinking about fulfillment of all that we desire & want
- Getting all these without putting the real efforts those which are mandatorily basic for the desired outcomes
- Our time spent on social channels, where many people put a façade of being happy & successful.
- Then we start believing & comparing our lives with these assumed happy, problem free, stress free people - who have it easy all the way.
- Because we constantly compare with illusions & our perceptions of how the things should be, we constantly struggle with the uncalled for pressure of FOMO, as we feel we are the only unlucky people.
- Then this FOMO nurtures & feeds an ongoing cycle of isolation, hopelessness & insecurities. And in many cases it becomes the whirlpool we cannot come out.
- Because all of desires are based on being someone else, with whom we compare ourselves based on their social media publications, we stop being ourselves & that adds to our already overburdened misery.
- We also have a false perception that we should not project an image as a weakling, so we can to relate with others on a deeper way, as we don’t let our vulnerability show
- Then our EGO tells us to stop adjusting, we tell ourselves that, why should be compromise with others.
- Our romantic expectations are all time high as we expect all our needs, wants & expectations get met through one person.
- We start depending on one person instead of our total social circle for our emotional, physical, mental & other needs and expectations.
- Because we are looking for instant gratifications, we look for alternatives very soon instead of putting efforts to cultivate & make the existing work. We start changing jobs & partners.
- Fear of being in the wrong job & spending time with wrong partner drives our FOMO further.
- Our values are not the end values like happiness, meaningful relationship, love, care, and adding value to others. Instead they are money, name, fame, glamor, recognition etc.
- The reality shows on the TV too are adding fuel to fire.
- We never think we can make any mistakes, so if anything goes wrong it is the other person’s fault. As a result we never work on ourselves before looking for another job or another partner.
- Because we feel that we are perfect, we start changing the world, which turns out to be a recipe for disaster.
- Because FOMO is a self-esteem issue, because of in securities we are constantly chasing to be included & accepted by groups & people.
- The people suffering from FOMO also have a grate need for approval, recognition & appreciation from others
How FOMO impacts our Jobs, Relationships & our other day to day life areas
It impacts our Relationship Satisfaction
It impacts our doing well in our profession or job
Why, Because -
Our continuously being aware about how some of the people whom we are connected with, are doing so well in their Job, Business, Profession, Marital Life, Relationship, Money, name fame => through their social media posting
- Our paying attention & importance to these notifications with keen interest
- Our comparing our lives with these Lucky & Happy, People & Couples
- Beating ourselves down that rest of the others have everything that we desire, but me, my unlucky self does not.
- We make their make belief pictures & updates as the only facts, we fail to realize that they might be posting these to hide the fact of their unsuccessful, boring & traumatic life, based on their selfies, photo & write-ups
- We fail to see the good in our life, & start thinking why can’t I have those as well
Glittering Signs FOMO Is Ruining Your Dating Life & Relationships
- Because we are connected with thousands of people through social media & see their ever being happy & successful. When we come across a person whom we like. But this likeness lasts only for very small time as when we see that He/She does not have many qualities that many of our multiple choices have.
- As we believe in perfect life, perfect relationship & perfect soul mate, we don’t want to make mistakes in choosing the wrong ones as “We only live once”.
- Therefore we keep on constant lookout for the perfect person & are terrified of settling with the one we are dating right now. This becomes the ultimate paradox of choice
- Because of perfectness of our perception of our ideal partner, we have very high expectations unrealistic expectations, even though we ourselves have lots of lacunas
- Because one person cannot satisfy you entire portfolio of needs & we look out for a better fit, we miss out on cultivating relationships with fine people, whom we are connected
- Because the world is moving at a breakneck speed, we may come across people with mind-boggling connection & then we make that person our soul mate very fast. Later we realize on seeing their faults to which we were wearing blinkers, that we have made the wrong choice
- Many times as we expect our perfect & ideal soul mate to appear from nowhere, we date just to fulfill our temporary needs and to pass time till that moment of connecting with the best person arrives.
- Because of the above points, we always find our exes better than our current ones. That is why many of us maintain relationship with our ex in case the current ones does not work out they can always go back to their ex. This is totally unadvisable
- We start projecting our insecurities on our partners, without making efforts to identify, understand & cure our own faults
How to combat FOMO, in Jobs, In Relationship & Everywhere else
- Admit that you have FOMO
- Understand that engaging in FOMO is unwinnable
- Understand that FOMO is based only your perceptions & assumptions
- Understand that you have the capacity to defeat FOMO
- Creating a journal of the positives that we have, Create an abundance mindset by looking at the blessing that you have
- Understanding just because we think [actually assume] something, doesn’t make it true
- The perception of Sticking together is safe, being left out is insecure, is reinforced when people have got in touch with the social media
- Understand that Most people don’t have the capacity to pay attentions to their entire social sphere, online or in-person, so you’ll always be left out of events
- Identify The Joys of Missing Out, to experience the joy of missing out, you need to realize that your own worth comes from within. You are the only person you can control. Approve yourself and make the security come from within.
- Clarify your needs & wants when you’re clear about what you want, the things you miss out on tend to be less important.
- When you build self-esteem through these methods and take care of you, the need for FOMO will slip away
- Don’t be friends with your ex-girlfriends on Facebook. With time, you forget the bad stuff about her that caused you to break up in the first place, a process accelerated by her only posting flattering updates and pictures. Soon you’ll be wondering if you should get back together and feeling jealous when she starts seeing other guys
- Don’t engage in a FOMO arms race. When other people’s updates are putting you in a funk, it’s tempting to “retaliate” by trying to post things from your own life that you think will induce FOMO in them. But engaging in such a practice only magnifies your own feelings of insecurity, deepens your propensity for making comparisons, and perpetuates the cycle
- Accept That Things Are Happening Without You
- Accept that The fun (or other positives) that you’re missing out on might not be as huge as you imagine it to be
- FOMO is an unwinnable game
- Block the Distractions, We’re already fans of taming information overload, especially if that information only causes you distress, as FOMO does. Turn off all notifications, except the immediately actionable ones.
- Relish the Present, Feel more relaxed and in control, by taking pro-active actions towards your meaningful goals
- Slow down. Most of us move at a faster pace than is necessary or beneficial to our best interests. Practice taking your time when eating, driving, talking, making love, or engaging in the tasks of everyday living
- Practice discernment in regard to distinguishing what is truly important and necessary from what is merely desirable, and choose to eliminate some of the things that don’t contribute
- Go for the experience & memories and not materialistic trophies
- Be willing to not have it all, start focusing your Needs as they are limited instead of Desires which are endless
- Stop Multi-tasking, do One thing at a time
- Practice Mindfulness strive for the deep satisfaction that comes with the cultivation of mindfulness
- Try not be judging others based on hearsay [social media or gossip]
- Give Priority to relationships, love, understanding & intimacy over materialistic pleasures
- Savor the moment Enjoy the journey and the process rather than waiting for the ultimate results
- Cultivate an attitude of gratitudeprocess
- Stop thinking about what I could have done, instead focus on what can you do to improve and take appropriate actions
- If you feel they are having fun without you, create give a dman & start having fun without them
- Make yourself Busy by remaining engaged in meaningful activities
- Keep your My-Space and be social the same way with your friends like before, Don’t sideline your friends
- Stay active and live a healthy lifestyle
- Exercise, meditate
- Go for vacations
- Join different interest groups
- Widen your areas of interest & base of your knowledge & skills by learning and keeping yourself updated
- Have social relationships with different types of groups & people & hang out with them to see the reality by asking questions to verify your doubts
- Avoid & minimize social media addiction, stop spending time on them, especially reading about your presumed Happier & more Successful Connections
- Learn to see the real things when you hang out, people cannot project happiness façade for long. The chink in their armor always will show cracks
- Listen to everything they say.
- FOMO is all about your perspective, You always want what you think other people have, but you don’t always consider the downsides to what they’re going through.
- For those who feel they've won the dating/job/craeer lottery and are with a highly desirable partner, FOMO obviously doesn't matter much. But for those dating a partner who doesn't seem as desirable, other options in the dating pool
- When you believe your job or your partner has more positive then you put a lot of effort into your career & relationship would be more satisfied. The trick is to see it that way by identifying all the positives.
- Understand that Humans Are Designed to Fear of Missing Out, entire gossiping is based on that which most people indulge in time to time
- Learn to enjoy your company
- Whenever you get the feeling that you are a loser, tighten your belt & resolve how I can bounce back
- Understand that the Real cost of FOMO is actually missing out on those beautiful moments which you wasted on suffering due to FOMO
- Always understand nobody will post the reality on the social media
- Accept that life has its ups and downs, it can not always be rosy or always be bad
- Accept that with your time you cannot be more than one place, so choose your priorities & act on the most important ones
- Looking at social media & others for happiness is a bad idea
- We all have bad things we could think about. But they don’t bother us when we pay them no mind. Your happiness is determined by how you allocate your attention.
- Appreciate current positivity, assets, relationships, support groups you are thankful for
- Make real connections with your close relationships
- Learn the difference between real & REEL then "Highlight Reel"
- Face Your FOMO, Admit you have a problem.
- Get More of the Important Things Done,Commit to strong, specific goals. Know the high-value activities needed to hit your goals
- Start saying no to people who bring you down. Recognize the tradeoffs. When you are thinking about saying yes ask yourself what you’re giving up. What is the most valuable use of your time right now? If it doesn’t help you reach your goals then the answer is no
- We do not ask ourselves the following questions before believing our assumptions as the Gospel Truth
- What are we actually missing, are we missing attention of potential partners or are we missing out on activities with our friends or we are missing out on career opportunities because of the time you invest in your relationship
When you feel anxious or stressed, whether it's physical or psychological, your brain thinks it's in danger and sends signals to your cells to release potent stress hormones. "This process of chemical activation in the brain leads to the flight, fight or freeze responses.
Physical sensations and conditions related to this include
- Tension and headaches
- Diarrhea, upset stomach, difficulty holding food in, loss of appetite
- Dizziness or tingling in the extremities – as blood rushes from the brain to the legs
- Muscle aches and fatigue – eventually the body is exhausted from the increased tension
How to Manage your Anxiety Long-Term
- Learning to Say No
- Identify unhealthy anxiety
- These are likely to reflect your perception of threat and the belief that you need to control things.
Challenge your negative thinking
- Visualize in detail facing the fear and getting through it
- Be willing to be anxious in order to overcome anxiety. You can't get past it if you aren't willing to go through it
- Accept imperfection and uncertainty. You don't have to be perfect to make progress. You don't have to know something for sure in order to do it. Doing it is better than worrying about it
- Recognize what your anxiety is and what triggers it – your anxiety may be fear of meeting people, traveling, fear of heights, talking with your boss, worrying about the future, etc.
- Keep a Feelings Diary and record situations, symptoms and thoughts that make you feel uneasy, dizzy, nauseated, unable to sleep, etc.
- Identify what are your thoughts when you are anxious? Try to identify specific thought distortions. In cognitive therapy anxiety is recognized as the result of biases in thinking. These include
- Laugh, Laugh, And Laugh Some More.
- Schedule Relaxation.
- Ground Yourself.
- Face Your Fears
- Then we only have three options to choose from Fight, Flight, and Freeze & we most of the time choose one of these. You might wonder, why don't people come to see this pattern, of repeated episodes of fear which don't lead to the feared outcome, it is because they feel because they took these preventive steps, there was no catastrophe
- We get tricked by, and get fooled into treating it like Danger whenever we experience Discomfort
- What is an anxiety disorder? It's you getting tricked into feeling powerful fear in the absence of any danger. With an anxiety disorder, people get afraid when they're not in danger
- Distortion, seeing & believing what is not
- Generalizing, if one person has done something once, all their clan must always do that
- Taking everything including jokes personally
- Magnifying it to catastrophic level, this is the end of world for me, no options left
- Mind-reading, assuming & creating a perception and opinion about others
- Predicting Future, it cannot be good, something bad is definitely going to happen
- Managing Anxiety vs. Curing It, Managing anxiety is when you still have anxiety but you do something in the moment that prevents it from affecting you, such as meditation, medications, or simply "fighting through it." Curing anxiety is when you no longer have an anxiety disorder. It is the truest way of overcoming anxiety
- The best way to fight anxiety is to commit to a comprehensive treatment. Overcoming anxiety needs to be a lifestyle, not just something you try once in a while in order to hope your anxiety becomes less severe. That said, there are individual tactics that can help you either manage anxiety or overcome anxiety that can be integrated into your life at home, without medical intervention.
- Cognitive behavioral therapy and other forms of talk therapy can be useful, but the following represent how to overcome anxiety without medicine:
- Healthy diets including essential Vitamins
- Self-Exposure Therapy through NLP visualization techniques by repeating the bad experience again & again – please
- Identifying the triggers, the key thing to realize is that almost every type of anxiety has some type of trigger. Panic attacks are often triggered by physical sensations, so if you can mimic those sensations, you can sometimes reduce the frequency of those panic attack triggers (It is not advised to do this for post-traumatic stress disorder
- Breathing Exercises
- Yelling and Shouting, You should always do this in a private area, where you can't be embarrassed and no one will judge you
- Imagine the worst-case scenario & then prepare how will you handle them physically, verbally, internally etc
- Whenever your brain makes Mount Everest out of a molehill, just challenge it
- Ask yourself is, “What are the odds?” what is the probability of this happening
- When you feel you can’t handle it, you feel you are totally helpless, you feel overwhelmed, ask yourself “What can I do?” Think of all the resources you can turn to tackle anxieties that could become reality—friends, family, inner strength, health-insurance etc. It won’t be a cakewalk—it would be really, really hard. But the point is that there are things you could do. The situation wouldn’t be hopeless.
- Recognize when you're succumbing to 'misplaced' anxiety, and let it go.
- Recognize & try to deal with where the fear is coming from
- Spend time with your friends — social support reduces anxiety
- Every night make a list the things that troubled you in one, and things that were favorable in the other,The realization that you have good things happening every day helps prevent you from just thinking about the negatives, A few times every day, recognize that at this very moment you're doing OK.
- Drink coffee regularly in moderation because it may help you manage stress
- Make yourself to use the energy of stressful situations to make yourself more productive
- Assume that stress can be a sign your life is meaningful. The key to not letting stress get out of hand is embracing its potential upsides. P
- Unless you’re in immediate, direct danger, what’s scaring or upsetting you is probably not as urgent as you think
- Identify what would be the positive rewards if you are able to solve this problem
- Think of all the possible great outcomes of the changes you’re making Consider what you will learn, and how much better your life and relationships will be without the panic
- Understand, identify & accept whether you are susceptible to anxiety & then find a way to overcome it
Forms of anxiety disorder
- Panic attack
- Generalized Anxiety Disorder
- Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
- Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
DEALING with YOUR FEARS
Some of the do it yourself are
1. Anticipate, Prepare, Practice
2. Face your fears, never avoid them as avoiding fears only makes them scarier
3. Imagine the worst
4. Verify, challenge & Look at the evidence
5. Don't try to be perfect
6. Learn Visualization
7. Learn EFT
8. Talk about it
9. Go back to basics, everyday things like a good night's sleep, a wholesome meal and a walk are often the best cures for anxiety.
10. Reward yourself, on handling a fear irrespective of the outcome
Please Read My Other Articles on
1. Handling Fear
2. Handling Stress and and Anxities
3. And other Related articles in My Other website - https://successunlimited-mantra.com/index.php/blog
Examples of good aerobic exercises include
- walking fast or jogging
- football or rugby
Go for stress awareness training, which may include as per your needs the following [taken from internet]
- techniques for managing the bodily symptoms
- controlled breathing
- applied relaxation
- techniques for managing the psychological symptoms:
- thought challenging
- techniques for dealing with problem behavior
- graded exposure to fears
- problem-solving strategies
- assertiveness training
- time management
- sleep management
- techniques for coping in the long term:
- 'blueprinting' (planning how to deal with challenging situations)
- coping with setbacks.
- CBT has been found to be so effective in the treatment of anxiety that it is now recommended by NICE (National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence).