Relationship Patterns


Problematic patterns in relationships - Types of Dysfunctional People Personality, Couples & Relationship Types

There are many problematic patterns that creates relationship issues.We will first see the few behaviors/personalities who makes others mad, miserable & anguished and who manage to kill the relationships on their own

  1. The Passive Aggressive coward The Hysterical One
  2. The Egoist or the arrogant one
  3. The Blind & Closed Dictator, The person who is set on his/her ways & expect you to be totally following them in everyway
  4. The Quick Blamers, who blame even their mistakes on you
  5. The Instant Short-Fused Temperamental One
  6. The Victim
  7. The Person who makes you feel sorry for them
  8. The Perpetual Apologizer
  9. The Dictator
  10. The manipulators
  11. The advantage takers
  12. The sadist
  13. The Depressive partner
  14. The Withdrawn partner

Types of Dysfunctional Relationships [it could be in your professional relation at the work as well] or couples

  1. Ostriches Who are basically Conflict Avoiders - They avoid conflict, avoid expressing what they need from one another, These couples post a lot on social media to showoff how their relationship is great
  2. The Volatile
  3. The Validators, in which either one or the both seek continuous validation of their being good
  4. Hostile have level of defensiveness on the part of both partners, there was also a lot of criticism, “you always” and “you never” statements.
  5. Detached
  6. One partner totally dependent on the other
  7. Initially like fairy tale & later can’t tolerate
  8. Dead/Surviving Relationship, somehow running, no interest, no contribution by either partners, just going through the motion
  9. Relationship on rebound, this can happen in job as well as in romantic ones
  10. Trying Out relationships. They go from one partner to other trying to find the perfect fit
  11. Fill gap or pass Time Relationships
  12. Unaccompanied living, these could be due to theirs fears or insecurities, or still grieving & recovering from past bad relationship or may not be getting any match or maybe the person likes to be with himself/herself as he/she may not have any needs that can be filled from

Few common mistakes people make in relationships

  1. Being involved in Power struggle
  2. Being too dependent
  3. Being too independent
  4. Not being willing to make sacrifices
  5. Being unable to communicate about things that bother you
  6. Explicitly or implicitly encouraging inequality
  7. Getting attracted for wrong reasons like
  8. People Whose Problems Align With Ours
  9. People who make us feel that they need us
  10. People who seems to be doing everything that you want
  11. Believing in the Perfect Love, Perfect Relationships
  12. Taking initial infatuation as the real thing
  13. Believing in Perfect Job, Perfect Boss, Perfect Partner
  14. An inability to manage conflict effectively, Allowing conflict to escalate (no ability to slow it d
  15. Giving no importance to your partner's feelings
  16. Unwillingness to understand, accept & adjust with your partner
  17. Blaming that leads to defensiveness
  18. Withholding attention, affection & sexual or any other need from your partner
  19. Maintaining focus on other things instead of relationship with your partner like work, children, religious life, hobbies, etc.
  20. Placing personal priorities before relationship priorities
  21. Not having serious discussions
  22. Not taking break & creating a life which is exactly same everyday
  23. Playing Victim & blame game
  24. Living in the past
  25. Emotional Insecurities
  26. Excessive Possessiveness
  27. Non Communication of Needs
  28. Bad Fit
  29. Addictions [drug, alcohol of both or one partner]
  30. Obsessive compulsive disorders
  31. Rigidity in values, beliefs
  32. Violence & Abuse
  33. Intrusive parents & parents in laws who are overly involved and protective

Identifying Draining, Disempowering & Toxic Relationships - Ask Yourself

  1. Have you Ever met a person for short time only but who managed to drain your mood, energy & enthusiasm
  2. Are you in relationship with such a person
  3. Could you be such person[off course, if it is you, chances are you can never understand, identify or accept it yourself, in fact you would be the person who will accuse your partner of being such nasty person], then the person who is related with you is experiencing the same horrible experience courtesy yourself.

I am giving below few indicators of your partner having a disorder, you choose what are present in your relationship [here we are talking about identifying traits of your partner, not you]

  1. You will note they get hurt very fast, even if you have not said or done anything intentionally or unintentionally
  2. You will notice that they never forget anything[even if that is totally imagined by then] & have a habit of digging in & bring out past which has been talked about and sorted out
  3. They are very irrational& illogical
  4. You cannot have discussions with them, it gets turned into arguments
  5. Having conversation with them is difficult, as they are perceptive listeners
  6. They can never understand your pain, your hurt, your feelings
  7. They seldom honor their promises
  8. They lie, but when it is proved that they lied, they will change the topic & bring something out of blue, that you feel exasperated
  9. Many times they show signs of nervousness, without any reasons
  10. You may notice over a period of time, that they nurse grudge & feeling of getting back at you
  11. You will also feel that they hold you responsible for all the wrongs[they feel they have in their life]
  12. Their apologies are mere words, they do not mean it & they will again do the same thing without feeling bad or even remembering that they had apologized for the same thing
  13. You will find them, at times being passive aggressive, which comes from their being submissive
  14. Whenever around them, you would feel guilty
  15.  They will repeat same mistakes repeatedly, and you get the feeling they're doing it on purpose to make life more difficult for you
  16. They can to understand jokes & neither makes jokes which are original. Most of the time they use clichés or jokes heard from others
  17. They feel they are know it all & expect you to acknowledge the same all the time, even for things which are routine
  18. If you advise them, they may feel offended
  19. They act very kind and almost overly social to strangers & charm the outsiders very well 
  20. They will use threats & even tell you that they are ending their life, but will never act on that
  21. You may find they have a very high libido & having sex with them is actually very satisfying, if you too enjoy the physical intimacy
  22. You may find them constantly criticizing you, especially if you are a great achievement & they will always downplay your accomplishment & link them to blame you for all your faults

This is one type of pattern, if you are in relationship with or dealing with such a person. The more severe this dis-order, the faster you will notice & as a result thereof be more miserable.


Relationship Intelligence
Setting Boundaries in All Relationships


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Saturday, 06 March 2021

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